emo kids feels sorry for herself, news at 11

So I had a pretty crappy weekend. It's my own fault though, But it doesnt change the fact that I have to go to work tomorrow, and I have nothing to show for it. I haven picked up a pencil since I dont know when. Havent picked up a guitar in even longer. I guess I just sort of gave up on everything, but thats doesnt leave me with much.

I was meant to go to a party. But there's nothing good for me at parties anymore except maybe drinking till one type of numbness replaces the other. Beer makes you fat anyway. Plus the people are usually too young or too old, the music is bad, there isnt enough drinks and people keep stealing your smokes. Plus people just annoy me most of the time. You know that feeling you get where you know the person you are talking to either doesnt care what you are saying or doesnt get it? That's pretty much my life.

Even at work now, I hide, I avoid. I dont wanna talk to anyone. When I started I always went to the work drinks, I havent been to a friday night get together for years.

When drinking isnt fun anymore you loose a big chunk of your life. Maybe I need a hobby.

Singing bad pop punk songs at the top of your lungs in a friends car is such a good feeling. i miss it. I miss cruising in cars to nowhere to do nothing. To play dnd or watchs some dvds or go shopping.

When did I turn into such a boring person?